Independent play — and independence more broadly — is not something children either “have” or “don’t have.” It’s a skill, and like most skills in early childhood, it develops slowly with practice, support, and repetition.

That was a key theme in a recent Vivvi webinar on building independence, led by early childhood educator Jennie Monness. As she shared, “It empowers them into believing that they can do a lot more than I think both grown-ups and kids kind of think they can.” At its core, that’s what independence is all about: giving children the chance to participate, practice, and begin to see themselves as capable.

And that matters. Independence is not just about playing without constant adult involvement. It helps children build confidence, flexibility, problem-solving skills, and a stronger sense of security in their day-to-day lives.

At Vivvi, we know that young children thrive when they feel both supported and capable. The goal is not to expect children to do everything on their own before they are ready. It’s to create the conditions that help independence grow, little by little.

Why independence matters in early childhood

For young children, independence starts small. It might look like putting a toy back on the shelf, choosing between two pairs of shoes, helping set the table, or playing for a few minutes without an adult leading the way.

These moments may seem simple, but they build something important. When children are given opportunities to do things for themselves, they begin to develop confidence in their own abilities. They learn that they can try, make mistakes, problem-solve, and keep going. Over time, those small moments of ownership add up.

As Jennie explained during the webinar, routines are often the foundation that makes independence possible. Predictability helps children feel safe, and that sense of safety makes it easier for them to participate more actively in their day.

How to encourage independence in young children

Here are six practical ways to support independence at home:

1. Start small

Independence does not have to mean long stretches of solo play or a child suddenly doing everything alone. Start with a few manageable minutes. Maybe your child plays while you switch the laundry, unload the dishwasher, or finish one task nearby. The goal is not distance. It’s giving them a chance to try.

2. Use routines to create predictability

Children are more likely to act independently when they know what to expect. For young children, that usually means simple, consistent routines rather than strict schedules. Think less in terms of the clock and more in terms of sequence: first we wash hands, then we eat; first we read one book, then it’s bedtime. Predictable routines help children feel secure, and that security supports independence.

3. Pause before solving boredom

When children say, “I’m bored,” it can be tempting to jump in with a new activity right away. But boredom is often the space where creativity begins. A small pause gives children the opportunity to come up with their own ideas, follow their curiosity, and practice initiating play on their own.

4. Resist the urge to over-direct

It is natural to want to step in when something looks messy, inefficient, or not quite right. But when adults direct every part of a child’s play or problem-solving, children can start to rely on that direction. If the tower is crooked or the pretend story makes no sense, that is okay. Independence grows when children feel ownership over what they are doing.

5. Offer support instead of pressure

There is a big difference between expecting independence and supporting it. Instead of saying, “Hurry up and put on your shoes,” try, “What do you need to help you put on your shoes?” That shift can lower the pressure while still encouraging the skill. Children are often more willing to try when they feel supported rather than rushed.

6. Make room for meaningful contribution

Young children love to feel helpful. Independence grows when children are included in the real work of family life in age-appropriate ways. They can carry a diaper to the changing table, tear lettuce for a salad, put books back on the shelf, or help clean up toys. These small responsibilities build confidence and communicate something powerful: you are capable, and your contributions matter.

Building independence through everyday moments

One of the most helpful reminders from the webinar was that independence does not appear all at once. It is built through repetition, routine, and many small chances to participate.

It is also worth remembering that independent play does not need to look perfect to be valuable. A child may need support at first. They may check back in often. They may only manage a few minutes before asking for help. That is all part of the process.

The work of building independence is not about stepping away completely. It is about staying close enough to support, while leaving enough space for children to discover what they can do.