Dropping off your baby at child care for the first time can feel exciting and intense at the same time. Many parents are returning to work after parental leave or a career pause, adjusting to new schedules, or navigating a major work transition. For many families, it may be the first time they’ve ever left their child with a caregiver.

Getting ready for daycare takes both logistical planning and emotional preparation. Resources from early learning providers like Vivvi often focus on the same reality: the stress is real, and it’s also workable when you have a plan and supportive strategies.

Dr. Ilyse Dobrow DiMarco, a clinical psychiatrist specializing in maternal anxiety, notes that many patients feel relief about life returning to normal, while also feeling monumental stress about leaving their child in someone else’s care for the first time. If you’re worried or anxious about transitioning an infant or toddler to professional child care, you’re not alone. There are practical steps you can take to ease the transition.

Below are six grounded tips to help you and your child get emotionally ready for daycare.

Why the first daycare drop-off can feel so hard

Starting daycare is a major transition for both you and your child. Even when you feel confident about the program and the timing, you may still experience strong emotions: worry, guilt, grief about a chapter ending, or stress about returning to work.

It’s also common for the emotional intensity to show up after the first few days, once the new routine becomes real. That doesn’t automatically mean your child is “having a bad time.” Often, it means they’re adjusting to change.

A practical week-by-week transition plan

You don’t have to “power through” the start of daycare. A simple plan helps you expect some bumps, prepare your routines, and focus your energy on what you can control.

Before the first day

• Set expectations: assume it may feel rocky at first, even if the long-term fit is good.
• Build a morning routine: practice it so the first day isn’t the first time you try it.
• Make a supplies list: know what needs to go in the bag each day and talk it through with your co-parent.

During the first two weeks

• Expect big feelings: your child may have an emotional reaction a few days in.
• Give it time: keep the “Two Week Rule” in mind. A few rough days early on are common. If things are still very bad after two weeks, that’s the time to problem-solve.
• Support yourself: plan restorative activities so daycare doesn’t consume your thoughts all day.

The questions parents ask most (and clear answers)

Is it normal for daycare to feel rocky at first?

Yes. Transitions are hard, even when they’re positive. Early drop-offs can bring out big feelings for children and strong emotions for parents. A rocky start doesn’t automatically mean something is wrong.

What if my child seems fine at first, then struggles later that week?

That can be normal, too. Some children react a few days into the routine when they realize it’s their new schedule. Big feelings showing up later doesn’t necessarily mean they’re having a bad experience.

When should I start to worry that it’s not working?

Dr. Dobrow DiMarco recommends the “Two Week Rule.” Try not to panic over a few rough days at the beginning. If things are still very bad after two weeks, you can problem-solve with the caregivers.

How to feel more in control without trying to control everything

You can’t eliminate every uncomfortable feeling that comes with starting daycare. But you can reduce stress by focusing on what’s within your control: routines, communication, and how you care for yourself through the transition.

Six tips to ease the emotional transition to daycare

1) Set expectations

Assume the transition may be bumpy at first. This is true even when daycare is a great fit. It can also help to anticipate that your child may show big feelings a few days in.

Vivvi’s Learning & Curriculum Manager Jade Francis, explains that an outburst of emotions after a few days can be completely normal and doesn’t mean a child is having a bad time. Often, it means feelings are surfacing that they didn’t anticipate in the beginning.

Dr. Dobrow DiMarco also recommends keeping the “Two Week Rule” in mind: early anxiety can make parents panic quickly if the first days are rough. If it’s still very bad after two weeks, then it’s time to problem-solve.

2) Set a schedule

At least a week ahead of time, create a morning routine and a list of supplies your child will need each day. Talk it through with your co-parent so you’re aligned on responsibilities and timing.

With toddlers, you can practice the routine in advance and let them help pack their own bag. For infants, you can still include them by narrating what you’re packing and why.

3) Relinquish control

Remind yourself that caregivers are professionals who know what they’re doing. Care at daycare may look different than care at home, and that difference isn’t automatically bad. It’s often just different.

If you find yourself anxiously waiting for updates, Dr. Dobrow DiMarco suggests distracting yourself on the first day by taking time off work and doing something just for you, so you’re not thinking about the transition every second.

If that approach doesn’t work for you, try setting a timer and limiting yourself to one check an hour. Constantly checking can become an “addictive novelty,” and it often eases as you and your child get more comfortable.

4) Show compassion for yourself

Dr. Dobrow DiMarco notes that “self care” can sound like luxury, but she defines it as anything restorative for you personally.

Her guidance is to make an exhaustive list of what restores you outside of parenting and work (big and small), then schedule one restorative activity every day. That could be an all-day hike, 15 minutes reading a new novel, or 5 minutes with a meditation app.

5) Handle difficult feedback without getting defensive

If a caregiver shares something hard to hear (for example, biting), start by listening.

Dr. Dobrow DiMarco notes that many parents become defensive when they hear difficult information. Instead, focus on understanding what happened and how you can work with the caregiver to address the behavior.

Helpful questions include:

• Can you tell me what that looked like?
• Can you tell me more about the situation?

6) Be assertive, but kind

If you have an issue with how something is going (for example, your child missing naps), aim for a direct, collaborative conversation. Bring it back to what your child needs and what you need, rather than framing it as what the caregiver is doing wrong.

As Dr. Dobrow DiMarco puts it, assertiveness is asking for what you need in a direct way, in a manner that supports a good relationship with the caregiver or campus.

What parents should remember on the hard days

The beginning of daycare is often an emotional transition, not just a scheduling change. If you prepare for a bumpy start, practice your routines, and communicate clearly with caregivers, you give your family a steadier path through the first days.

Most importantly: you’re not the only one finding this hard, and you don’t have to interpret early tears or tough drop-offs as proof you made the wrong choice. Often, it’s simply the normal work of adjusting to a new routine.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

What is the “Two Week Rule” for starting daycare?

Dr. Dobrow DiMarco suggests that parents try not to panic over a few rough days at the beginning. The idea is to give the transition time. If it’s still very bad after two weeks, then you can problem-solve with the caregivers.

Should I practice the daycare morning routine before the first day?

Yes. The article recommends creating a morning routine at least a week ahead of time, making a daily supplies list, and talking it through with your co-parent. Toddlers can help practice the routine and pack their own bag, and infants can be included by narrating what you’re doing.

What should I do if I’m anxiously checking for updates all day?

Dr. Dobrow DiMarco suggests distracting yourself on day one by taking time off work and doing something just for you, so you’re not thinking about it constantly. If that doesn’t work, try setting a timer and limiting yourself to one check an hour.

How should I respond when a caregiver shares difficult feedback about my child?

Try to listen first rather than getting defensive. Dr. Dobrow DiMarco recommends asking questions that help you understand what happened—such as “Can you tell me what that looked like?” and “Can you tell me more about the situation?”—so you can work together on next steps.