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<p>Working parents need supportive, parent-friendly workplaces—that’s a fact. And more and more, working parents are not afraid to leave companies that aren’t providing them with the benefits and flexibility they need to be good parents and employees.</p>



<p>Our research into what working parents want to see from employers doubles as an open letter to companies looking to retain quality employees. Being a parent gives employees access to <a href="https://vivvi.com/blog/family/articles/harness-parenting-skills">a unique skill set</a>, and they want a company culture that works for them.</p>



<p>Here’s a look at changes working parents would like to see.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">The “Married to the Job” Culture Doesn’t Fit Anymore</h2>



<p>For decades, hustle culture has thrived in the professional world. Being “married to the job” was worn as a badge of honor for many. There is certainly nothing wrong with being dedicated to your career—if the culture works for you. But what we’re seeing more and more,&nbsp; for working parents is that it simply isn’t working.</p>



<p>The latest studies show that parents are not only willing to leave their jobs for benefits that suit them, they’re actually doing it. In fact, <a href="https://momsfirst.us/childcare-report/">83% of women and 81% of men</a> with children ages 0–5 said that child care benefits would be a very important or somewhat important factor in deciding whether to stay at their current employer or switch employers.</p>



<p>Employers must be willing to look at their company culture through the lens of parents to fully understand what needs to change. There is no denying that companies struggle to attract and retain high-quality talent. Ask yourself: Does your culture foster a married-to-the-job attitude? Or does it genuinely support the lifestyles of working parents?</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Working Parents Want Parent-Friendly Workplace Cultures</h2>



<p>Companies that are fully inclusive of working parents thrive. Companies that have policies and systems in place to support their employees along the parenthood journey, things like parental leave and employer-sponsored child care, enjoy longer relationships with their employees.</p>



<p>When given a choice, working parents say they would choose a company that offers flexible working arrangements and <a href="https://vivvi.com/employers">employer-sponsored childcare</a> over a company that doesn’t.<br>Many working parents drastically changed how they worked during the pandemic due to a lack of childcare support. These changes acted as a hard reset and made many working parents realize that <a href="https://vivvi.com/blog/employers/articles/blog-build-parent-inclusive-workplace">parent-friendly workplaces</a> are the way forward.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Here’s What <a href="https://vivvi.com/blog/family/articles/work-travel-tips">Employees</a> Want Their Companies to Change</h2>



<p>We are <em>what we do</em>—and parents want their employers to recognize that. Recent opinions suggest employees want companies to respect the many additional roles they play in their lives: spouses, caregivers, friends, and neighbors.&nbsp;</p>



<p>The main culture changes working parents want to see from their employers are: an end to rigid work models, child care offerings, inclusivity, and anti-parent biases.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Rigid Work Models</h2>



<p>Flexibility is one of the main benefits working parents look for when looking at company culture. Companies should prioritize flexibility when assessing policies and benefits for working parents.<br><br>The rigid in-person 9-to-5 work model that we once knew is simply no longer an option. Hybrid models and remote work are now a reality, and employees want companies to embrace flexible work models. Perks like working asynchronously help working parents focus on caregiving responsibilities. Similarly, remote work can often offset the burdens of the <a href="https://vivvi.com/blog/family/articles/childcare-costs-impact">child care cost crisis</a>.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Outdated Child Care Support</h2>



<p>Outdated or lack of child care benefits and support are no longer adequate. This is one area in particular that working parents want employers to invest heavily.&nbsp;</p>



<p><a href="https://vivvi.com/blog/family/articles/caregiving-affects-mind">Child care</a> benefits doesn’t necessarily mean on-site or near-site care to the office (although on-site care does significantly decrease both absences and job turnover). Companies can now explore a range of child care benefit options, including backup care, child care subsidies and even virtual tutoring to support their caregivers.</p>



<p>Employer-sponsored childcare programs should be designed to support your employees throughout the parenting journey, not just during the first spring. Parent-friendly workplaces need to include employer-sponsored child care as part of company benefits.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Lack of Inclusivity</h2>



<p>When designing a company culture that will appeal to parents, employers must strive for inclusiveness. One hurdle that many companies fall at is not providing fathers with the same benefits as mothers. Traditionally, men receive less support when they become parents. Paternity leave is often much less than that of mothers. Many first-time <a href="https://www.newamerica.org/better-life-lab/reports/paid-family-leave-how-much-time-enough/gender-equality/">fathers miss out on quality bonding time</a> with their children as they have to return to work earlier.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Additionally, family leave benefits are often geared toward the “traditional” definition of family. Individuals pursuing IVF treatment and adoption might not receive the same support from their employers. Parent-friendly workplaces are successful when they build truly inclusive cultures for all employees.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Eliminate Anti-Parent Biases</h2>



<p>We’re done with the anti-parent—and particularly anti-mom—biases.</p>



<p>Many working mothers fall victim to “mommy tracking” in the workplace. Returning from maternity leave, mothers often feel they aren’t offered the same opportunities as they were before their parental leave. This may mean reducing their work hours or being passed over for promotions.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Working parents want to work for companies that support their roles as parents.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">How Vivvi Helps Employers Level Up Their Company Cultures</h2>



<p>The best company culture is one that embraces employees at every stage of their lives.</p>



<p>At Vivvi, we help employers support their employees exactly where they are in their parenting journey. We partner with companies of all sizes to make access to high-quality child care a reality for working parents.&nbsp;<br>With flexible solutions that address all caregiving stages and can be accessed from any geographical location, our team can work with your business and employees to provide a solution that benefits everyone. For more information on how to level up your company culture, visit our <a href="https://vivvi.com/employers">employers page</a> to learn how our early learning program helps working parents.</p>


For working parents, company culture is essential. These are changes employers should consider to attract and retain talent as employers. 

Company Culture Changes Working Parents Need

What Working Parents Wish Employers Would Change


<p>Hosting a playdate for your toddler or preschooler is a great way for your child to get some fun socialization with playmates their own age, and for you to get to know other parents.</p>



<p>But just because playdates are an important part of your child’s (and dare we say, your?) social development doesn’t mean they’re easy! Playdating can be awkward, time-consuming to plan and exhausting!</p>



<p>But with the right prep work, you can host the chillest, happiest play date that&#8217;ll have parents and toddlers alike begging to come back. All it takes is a little planning and a lot of snacks.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Here are our top five tips for how to plan a great playdate for your toddler or preschooler.</h2>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">1. Choose the right time.</h2>



<p>Choosing the right time key, especially with the under-5 crowd.<br><br>Try to avoid planning a playdate when your child is likely to be tired. For example, if your little one is used to having quiet reading time with a parent immediately after school, it can be jarring to go to a playdate instead. That’s when they’re used to resting! Choose a time when you know your child will be at their best and invite accordingly.<br><br>Make sure your child is well rested ahead of time to avoid moody meltdowns.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">2. Choose the right place.</h2>



<p>Benefits of hosting at home: your snack drawer, toys and coffee pot. But, if your child is in a bit of a “mine” phase, hosting the playdate at your own house may not be ideal for the first time.<br><br>Instead, suggest a neutral spot like a park or the library. The benefits of hosting out and about: new experiences for your child, less messes for you to take personal responsibility for.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">3. Invite the right guests.</h2>



<p>Ask your child who they would like to have a playdate with. If they can’t articulate quite yet, ask their teacher for an idea of their favorite playmates.<br><br>Don’t be afraid to invite fellow daycare or preschool parents you haven’t met yet. Part of the beauty of joining a new community with our children is meeting parents of the other littles in the group. You may not have all the same things in common as friends you’ve made in other times in your life, but you do have one thing in common: your children. That’s often enough to build a lifelong friendship… or at least a semi-regular 60-minute hang.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">3. Snacksnacksnacks.</h2>



<p>Not having snacks: bad, horrible, no good playdate.<br><br>Having <a href="https://vivvi.com/blog/family/articles/packable-lunch-inspiration">snacks</a>: great, awesome, amazing playdate!<br><br>Nothing makes or breaks a playdate quite like snacks. Load up on all your kiddos’ favorites and then plenty of extras because there’s only one thing toddlers and preschoolers like better than snacks: other people’s snacks!<br><br>It works on the parents, too. If you’re at home, have a pot of coffee going or some extra La Croix. Nothing makes people feel more welcome than knowing you have snacks and treats for them.<br><br>Be considerate of potential allergies or off-limit foods (one toddler’s snacks might be another toddler’s “holiday only” treats!); a quick text to your playdate guest will go a long way towards creating parent goodwill.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">4. Plan an activity.</h2>



<p>Even if you’re hoping for a more organic, go-with-the-flow kind of playdate, it’s never a bad idea to plan some activities ahead of time—just in case. This will keep the littles entertained and keep the grown-ups from stressing about entertaining the children.<br><br>Ideas include: nature walk collecting leaves or sticks, picnic, coloring or painting, air dry clay, cooperative gaming, or a play invitation with <a href="https://vivvi.com/blog/family/articles/loose-parts-found-materials-play">found objects</a> like toilet paper rolls and other recycling.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">5. Decompress post-playdate.</h2>



<p>Social interaction is hard—for you and your child! Make sure you take time after every playdate to decompress. Spend time snuggling together on the sofa with a few books or a favorite show. Your little one will need comfort after a busy day of sharing and taking turns.<br><br>Playdate host parent: <a href="https://vivvi.com/blog/family/articles/child-care-good-mental-health">take a break for yourself</a>! A solo trip to Target after bedtime, or even a 20-minute walk around the neighborhood can do wonders after hosting another family that you might not have known very well. Being social can take a toll on all of us.</p>


With the right prep work, you can host the chillest, happiest play date that'll have parents and toddlers alike begging to come back. Here are our five tips!

How to Plan a Great Playdate


<p>Feel like you can’t decide between apples and blueberries for snack time today? When you’ve got a young child, it can often feel like <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mUIThd2AhT1U63M6NWI86qUCpuxHg9XqvOtEfrWa1Qc/edit">every single decision</a> parents make feels like the most important decision in the world… even when it is about something as mundane as a snack.</p>



<p>Decision fatigue—the idea that after making so many important decisions, your ability to make more decisions gets worse—is real.</p>



<p>And there is a reason for it, explains clinical psychologist and author Dr. Ilyse Dobrow DiMarco, who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy for maternal anxiety and stress.&nbsp;</p>



<p>“Sometimes the anxiety from all these decisions manifests as overcontrol,” Dr. DiMarco says. “For others it comes more in the form of resignation, where it’s like ‘I’m throwing my hands up’.”</p>



<p>Right now the thought of making another decision—even the most mundane, like what children’s bath soap to buy—feels so charged and important. That is decision fatigue in action.<br><br>Dr. Dobrow DiMarco says her patients and so many others are truly feeling it. As hard as it feels, there are ways to recognize and ease the difficulty of decision making. Here are seven coping strategies for putting things into perspective and lightening the tension of making decisions.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">1. Acknowledge Things are Terrible</h2>



<p>Putting a name on our feelings is important. It is how we take a step back and recognize what is going on. And what is going on right now is that life is hard.<br><br>Give yourself space to feel and accept negative emotions, Dr. DiMarco says. And remember to be compassionate to yourself. Parenting is hard.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">2. Decatastrophize</h2>



<p>In making decisions that feel heavy, look at the facts and try to decatastrophize.<br><br>When deciding things like whether you should buy organic or non-organic bananas or send your child to preschool, DiMarco says look at the evidence; Google can sometimes be your best friend. Maybe a simple fact check can help you make your decision, or maybe you’ll need to look up some evidence to see if your worry is valid. Sometimes we worry about things that we can just actually not worry about.<br><br>To finish decatastrophizing, Dr. DiMarco says to follow that up with imagining the worst case scenario in your situation–and think about how you would handle it.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">3. Dial into a Community</h2>



<p>When struggling with decision fatigue, tapping into your community can help with support and guidance. And remember, your community does not have to be irl.<br><br>“You can find your people online,” says Alexis Barad-Cutler, founder of the online mom community <a href="https://www.notsafeformomgroup.com/">Not Safe for Mom Group</a>. Her NSFMG platform gives moms the digital space to connect with each other and discuss various parenting-related topics.<br><br>“Personally the people I talk to most in the day don’t live near me or they live in another country, and I feel extremely close to those people because of the virtual connection we have”.<br><br>If virtual just does not work for you, Barad-Cutler suggested picking one real life mom friend to lean on for decision making support. This doesn’t have to be your lifelong best friend or your soulmate, rather she suggests finding a “mom-mate” – someone you can lean on and confide in about similar things during this time in your parenthood journey.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">4. Find a Trusted Caregiver</h2>



<p>Parents need more than just child care during work; parents need personal time. Having reliable, trustworthy child care for <em><a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1KVJvkoz6YZ1J0VWSwdzeevGaZgDGsSx7_YvWMFxyQvE/edit?usp=sharing">time to yourself</a></em> is essential. <br><br>“I can’t stress how important it is to find someone who can take your kids off your hands so you have some time alone,” Barad-Cutler says. “There is no prize at the end of the day for being a martyr.”</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">5. Support from your Co-Parent</h2>



<p>If you have a co-parent, talk with them about how to divide responsibilities–but do not let the conversation stop there. The responsibilities list needs to be continually updated as your children get older.<br><br>Dr. DiMarco recommends <a href="https://www.fairplaylife.com">Fair Play</a>, a system for how to divide up household tasks fairly, based on your individual family needs.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">6. Do an Instagram Cleanse</h2>



<p>Unsolicited advice can leave you feeling decision-fatigued out. If the cacophony of voices from your IG feed makes you feel anxious or upset in any way: it’s time for a good old fashioned Instagram cleanse. Unfollow, unfollow, unfollow.<br><br>“What I tell my patients is find one or two experts, influencers, etcetera, who’s posts really resonate with you and who – and this is very key – don’t leave you feeling more anxious after you read their stuff,” Dr. DiMarco suggests. “Take those one or two people and use them as your gurus and try to ignore the myriad other voices.”<br><br>And if the posts that send you into that upset place come from personal friends you follow online, use the Mute button. Muting someone allows you to remain their follower, but not see them in your feed and best of all: they won’t know they’re muted.<br><br>“We all have those people in our lives,” Barad-Cutler says, “The friend who&#8217;s always taking a vacation or the friend who bounced back after pregnancy like one week later and you’re just like, “Oh my God, I can’t even…”, just mute it.”</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Want to learn more about Decision Fatigue?</h2>



<p>Check out our conversation with Dr. Ilyse Dubrow DiMarco and Alexis Barad-Cutler below.</p>



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</div></figure>


 Here are seven coping strategies for putting things into perspective and lightening the tension of making decisions.

How to Cope with Parenting Decision Fatigue

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